Day One
He was happy when he got up from the bed in the morning. YEP! It's sharp 6 A.M and he felt proud because that was the seventh time in a row he managed to wake up at 6 AM without an alarm. He rushed through the pre-walk settings and changed into a shorts and t-shirt. Mr. Menon and Mr. Kumar was waiting outside and they passed enthusiastic good mornings. Together, they started walking fast towards the park, their worker's colony members shaped up in a community programme. The service jokes slowly gave side to 'issues' at home and retirement and P.F and all. After an hour of exercise, they decided to have tea from Raju's morning tea-shop. On his way back, he picked up the newspaper and slowly sat down to the steps in front of his house.
Tripple Murder, Scams, Gang Rape, Terrorist Attack, Minister shot dead, General stole money, Admiral raped a cadet, Sports Team Captain found guilty, ... same stories. He pretty much smiled through it. Yeah! as if all of this is gonna change anything, he thought. He'd be getting the same salary, a nice increment starting from next month. He actually felt it was the beginning of a nice part in his life. Starting with his cholestrol level going down, his daughter qualifying to IIT, his son becoming the cricket team captain of the school, his wife deciding to sell all her properties and put that money in the bank!!! Life... is simply amazing....
NO!!! He hadn't seen the suppliment form of newspaper, the gossip toilet paper as his wife once termed it. There was a big headline. Something bad has happened. He looked frantically:
Salman Khan slapped Shah Rukh Khan!
No Way! Absolutely Impossible.... King Khan getting slapped? He continued to read the news.
Apparently the two of them crossed each other in an airport and Salman misunderstood Shah Rukh's smile and decided to slap him. The Police has filed a case against him and Shah Rukh's lawyers are pressing for charges including 307. Salman was later arrested and released after a bail was granted by the High Court.
He started sweating. When his wife came with tea, he was leaning against a pillar, looking perplexed. She asked him for the reason and he painfully pointed out to the tabloid, which was on the floor. The middle page had flown out to the portico, with the images of the incident in it. He did not bother going after it. His wife sat down, looking at the news. Her eyes were filled with tears. 'What is happening to this country?', She thought.
He took a leave for the afternoon, and returned home very early from the office. His temperature had gone a little high and he slept through the whole afternoon. He felt a little better when he listened to old songs in his DVD player and sipped a peg of whiskey, before going to bed at night.
Day Two
Jogging was not very good on the second day, as he was mostly moody and did not respond to Mr. Kumar's old and predictable service jokes. Mr. Menon was mostly critical about the 'Khan War'. He thought the NDTV and CNN IBN took the whole day on it and did not properly cover the 'assassination attempt on Home Minister by Pakistani terrorists'. They didn't drink tea that day.
He walked with the newspaper in hand and sat down on the steps. He avoided the tabloid and opened the main paper.
I don't regret that: Salman Khan
I am a civilized human being and a law abiding citizen: Shah Rukh Khan
He stood up. He did not know what else to do. He read the rest of the story by leaning against his car. His wife came and gave him the tea. She also joined him in reading the paper.
I do not feel like regretting. I have only done what I should have done long ago. If I get a chance again....... OMG! Why is he like that? Why are these people fighting? His wife took her hands away from the newspaper. A breeze took away the middle sheet containing news about the assassination attempt on the home minister! I do not know why he did that. I have been attacked by a fellow human being, that's all I know. If you want to know the reason, you should ask him. It might be because I am the best and No.1 that people generally target me. I am a civilis...... But, he was hit. On his face. He sat down on the steps again..
When the doctor left, his wife told him that he fell unconscious on the steps and hit his head. There were two stiches on his left forehead. He called up his boss who granted him a leave for two days.
He flipped through channels as he did not know anything else to do. Suddenly, a news channel came on the screen. Aamir Khan!
'Everybody knows who is more intellectual. I don't have to say it. And you know, I know when to quit. Some people don't. I don't have to say who. Do I? I know it when a wild bull is coming at me and I know how to hide. Well... some people don't. The No.1 seat is a myth created by the media. When the King is defeated, who ever is powerful naturally assumes the power. So, I don't have to say who's no.1. Do I?'.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
He threw both the remotes at the TV and the screen cracked.
The Effect of 'Star Wars' on an Average 'Middle Class' Indian Citizen.
He was happy when he got up from the bed in the morning. YEP! It's sharp 6 A.M and he felt proud because that was the seventh time in a row he managed to wake up at 6 AM without an alarm. He rushed through the pre-walk settings and changed into a shorts and t-shirt. Mr. Menon and Mr. Kumar was waiting outside and they passed enthusiastic good mornings. Together, they started walking fast towards the park, their worker's colony members shaped up in a community programme. The service jokes slowly gave side to 'issues' at home and retirement and P.F and all. After an hour of exercise, they decided to have tea from Raju's morning tea-shop. On his way back, he picked up the newspaper and slowly sat down to the steps in front of his house.
Tripple Murder, Scams, Gang Rape, Terrorist Attack, Minister shot dead, General stole money, Admiral raped a cadet, Sports Team Captain found guilty, ... same stories. He pretty much smiled through it. Yeah! as if all of this is gonna change anything, he thought. He'd be getting the same salary, a nice increment starting from next month. He actually felt it was the beginning of a nice part in his life. Starting with his cholestrol level going down, his daughter qualifying to IIT, his son becoming the cricket team captain of the school, his wife deciding to sell all her properties and put that money in the bank!!! Life... is simply amazing....
NO!!! He hadn't seen the suppliment form of newspaper, the gossip toilet paper as his wife once termed it. There was a big headline. Something bad has happened. He looked frantically:
Salman Khan slapped Shah Rukh Khan!
No Way! Absolutely Impossible.... King Khan getting slapped? He continued to read the news.
Apparently the two of them crossed each other in an airport and Salman misunderstood Shah Rukh's smile and decided to slap him. The Police has filed a case against him and Shah Rukh's lawyers are pressing for charges including 307. Salman was later arrested and released after a bail was granted by the High Court.
He started sweating. When his wife came with tea, he was leaning against a pillar, looking perplexed. She asked him for the reason and he painfully pointed out to the tabloid, which was on the floor. The middle page had flown out to the portico, with the images of the incident in it. He did not bother going after it. His wife sat down, looking at the news. Her eyes were filled with tears. 'What is happening to this country?', She thought.
He took a leave for the afternoon, and returned home very early from the office. His temperature had gone a little high and he slept through the whole afternoon. He felt a little better when he listened to old songs in his DVD player and sipped a peg of whiskey, before going to bed at night.
Day Two
Jogging was not very good on the second day, as he was mostly moody and did not respond to Mr. Kumar's old and predictable service jokes. Mr. Menon was mostly critical about the 'Khan War'. He thought the NDTV and CNN IBN took the whole day on it and did not properly cover the 'assassination attempt on Home Minister by Pakistani terrorists'. They didn't drink tea that day.
He walked with the newspaper in hand and sat down on the steps. He avoided the tabloid and opened the main paper.
I don't regret that: Salman Khan
I am a civilized human being and a law abiding citizen: Shah Rukh Khan
He stood up. He did not know what else to do. He read the rest of the story by leaning against his car. His wife came and gave him the tea. She also joined him in reading the paper.
I do not feel like regretting. I have only done what I should have done long ago. If I get a chance again....... OMG! Why is he like that? Why are these people fighting? His wife took her hands away from the newspaper. A breeze took away the middle sheet containing news about the assassination attempt on the home minister! I do not know why he did that. I have been attacked by a fellow human being, that's all I know. If you want to know the reason, you should ask him. It might be because I am the best and No.1 that people generally target me. I am a civilis...... But, he was hit. On his face. He sat down on the steps again..
When the doctor left, his wife told him that he fell unconscious on the steps and hit his head. There were two stiches on his left forehead. He called up his boss who granted him a leave for two days.
He flipped through channels as he did not know anything else to do. Suddenly, a news channel came on the screen. Aamir Khan!
'Everybody knows who is more intellectual. I don't have to say it. And you know, I know when to quit. Some people don't. I don't have to say who. Do I? I know it when a wild bull is coming at me and I know how to hide. Well... some people don't. The No.1 seat is a myth created by the media. When the King is defeated, who ever is powerful naturally assumes the power. So, I don't have to say who's no.1. Do I?'.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
He threw both the remotes at the TV and the screen cracked.
The Effect of 'Star Wars' on an Average 'Middle Class' Indian Citizen.
2 comments:
Funny as Hell...
Took long time to write one after your last post. Good!
:D
Brilliant! Love the way you build a story...and the sarcasm is positively dripping from this piece..hehe!
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